Unlocking the Benefits of Mediation with Tracy Gould Sheinin
Navigating a divorce can be an emotionally charged and complex journey that can be overwhelming. In this episode of the Amicable Divorce Network (ADN) podcast Tracy Gould Sheinin, a Georgia-based divorce mediator, conflict coach, and parent coordinator with Clarity Mediation, explores comprehensive strategies for effective mediation. Alongside Tracy Ann Moore-Grant, the Amicable Divorce Podcast host and founder of the Amicable Divorce Network, Sheinin highlights that mediation is a successful way for people to take control of their case and reach a resolution, however, most people are unprepared when approaching the mediation process.
Sheinin shares actionable tips for preparing for mediation and navigating the process with confidence and clarity. The conversation also delves into parenting logistics, highlighting the importance of mindset, emotional preparedness, and understanding your core values. With a focus on negotiation, thorough planning, and maintaining child-centered goals, this episode offers actionable advice for a successful mediation experience.
“Understand that mediation is a negotiation. Be prepared to negotiate and to compromise. You’ll likely get some things you hoped for, but you may also have to give up others. Going through the issues in advance and identifying what is truly important to you – what might be non-negotiable and what is flexible – will help. Consider what matters less and everything in between, so you know where to focus your efforts.”
-Tracy Gould Sheinin, Clarity Mediation
Tips Essential Tips for Preparing for Mediation:
- Organize Your Financial Information: Identify your assets, debts, income, and current spending.
- Have a Complete List of Debts: What you owe on loans, when the debt was incurred, and whose name it is in.
- Consider Parenting Arrangements Carefully: Include both financial arrangements for your children as well as parenting plans.
- Be Prepared to Negotiate: Know what your non-negotiables are and set expectations with your attorney.
“Don’t be afraid to keep trying with a second or third mediation session. 95% of cases in the US settle outside of court, so using mediation, alternative dispute resolution, early dispute resolution, and arbitration puts you in good company as people really do work it out using these methods.“
-Tracy Ann Moore-Grant, Amicable Divorce Podcast host and founder of the Amicable Divorce Network
Both Sheinin and Moore-Grant stress the importance of preparation and ‘doing your homework’ before mediation, as this can often lead to finalizing an agreement during the first session. However, if a resolution isn’t reached, they shouldn’t be discouraged. Mediation allows for flexibility and the possibility to return for additional sessions if needed. Unlike court hearings, mediation is private and confidential, allowing for open dialogue while keeping your family business out of the public domain. Sheinin also suggests discussing your value-based non-negotiables and setting realistic expectations with your attorney before going into a mediation session. Your attorney can also provide a calming presence if tensions rise during your session, offering you a moment to regroup and talk through issues before returning to the table.
“Work on your mindset, expectations, intentions, and goals for how you want the process to go. How do you want to feel so you can work through as much of the emotional aspect as possible before arriving at the mediation table? Once you’re there and those emotions pop up, because they will, it’s ok to ask for a break. Take a moment to step away or turn off the camera, allowing yourself to ground and release emotions so your logical mind can kick back in. This helps calm your nervous system, allowing you to make better decisions for yourself.”
-Tracy Gould Sheinin, Clarity Mediation
Sheinin emphasizes that preparation is the foundation of a successful mediation. By organizing finances, identifying a complete list of your debts, thoughtfully considering parenting logistics, and understanding your priorities, you can set yourself up for a smooth and productive mediation experience. Remember that the goal of mediation is to empower yourself to make decisions that reflect your unique family’s needs, preparing for an amicable post-divorce relationship.
To listen to the full episode and learn more about the benefits of mediation, click here.
Follow the Amicable Divorce Podcast here.